Raising K Squared

I’ve suffered for over 20 years with scars, it’s been an uphill battle since I hit puberty. When I was 16 I went onto medication for my acne, this helped a lot, but the scars remained.

 
I tried every brand out there to either cover it up or try make it less or go away, nothing really helped, and no make-up can take away the texture of your skin.

 
I absolutely love make-up but not in the way most woman do, more so in a way that benefits the UGLINESS of my face, see make-up is my friend – it protected me from the harsh comments, the onlookers, societies demands to look a certain way.
I went through a phase where I never went a day without make-up, constantly trying to cover myself up, hiding my scars and myself from the world daily.

 
I envied anyone who walked about without foundation or a lick of lipstick or mascara. Those were the woman I wanted to be, self-assured, happy in my own skin and care free! I imagined a day like any other day, walking about in my own skin free of doubt and self-awareness and the constant struggle to look a certain way.

 
However, I got over this phase and gave my skin a breather and decided I need to face the world showing the true me, and so I go without make-up 98% of the time now. I can’t say it doesn’t bother me being so bare to the world, I fight some internal battles constantly regarding this. As a mom I want my own daughter to feel good in her own skin no matter what, she changed me, she changed my outlook and made me realise I need to be me, unperfect, bare and free.

 
ITS NOT easy, but I am on a journey, I started with laser therapy for my scaring and maybe it will even lead to micro-needling. I have options now that I never had before, I can see through the scars, my skin journey begins here, I’m hoping to not just be scar free but also a little care free too, I say a little because I’m a control freak (can we really be care-free?) LOL.

Yours in Mommyhood and Womanhood

xxxx

Been meaning to write about our package for a while now and I have finally found the time to do so.

Earlier in the year when we first started following Nina on Instagram (@pandapostlearning) we were excited about her new venture and couldn’t wait to get our hands on her first box, so when it was first available we didn’t waste any time ordering ours, and we were NOT disappointed!

I remember needing something to entertain Kirsten in the June/July holidays on those days that it was rainy and needed to be indoors and our PANDA POST definitely came to the rescue. These Educational activity boxes were amazing and they offer boxes to suite each age group. The monthly educational box service differs every month and is guaranteed to give your little one and you hours of fun!

Our package included the following;

1. A Skeleton template and split pins for the Skeleton making activity.

2. Colour stickers to practice LEFT and RIGHT.

3. Black Cardboard for tracing.

4. White board and marker for practicing numbers, patterns and games.

5. Dice man game.

6. A My body parts puzzle.

7. Scissors, glue, crayons and a flip file with gross and cognitive activities amongst other information.

Some information on the founder of Panda Post Learning;

Nina Hampton is a teacher of 3 to 9 year olds for 13 years. She has a passion for making learning fun and helping children reach their potential.
She realised that parents are often overwhelmed with where to even start doing educational activities with their children.
So her idea Panda Post was born to empower parents to engage with their children using simple activities/games and giving parents ideas to make learning fun. She wants to empower parents with the knowledge and resources to make spending quality time with their children easy and fun!

You can follow them over on INSTAGRAM- @Pandapostlearning

FACEBOOK- https://www.facebook.com/pandapostlearning or

WEBSITE- http://www.pandapost.co.za

TAKING THE PLUNGE…
I’ve taken a break from blogging since I stared taking control of my life again, its been refreshing, but I have many ideas and stuff floating around in my head that I want to write about.
But lets start by getting an update…
2 months ago (almost) I decided to start taking my anti-depression medication. It was a decision not taken lightly and with GREAT difficulty.
As some of you are aware I did not want to take any medications while breastfeeding and WAS NOT prepared to stop breastfeeding regardless of whether I needed medication or not.
But… I reached a point, a very low point a few months ago after having a fight with my partner (yet again) that I need HELP, not just the way I was getting it but more, and quite obviously the next option was MEDICAL intervention. I realised I need Happy-Pills!
And so EXTREMELY reluctantly I called my psychologist who in turn called my GP to prescribe me the medication. He assured me that it would not interfere with my breastfeeding journey or affect my son. After much research and consideration, I stated taking it.

Honestly, almost immediately I noticed a change in myself. I stopped crying constantly, I stopped fighting with everyone, I started to smile, laugh (not fakely), I stated to take care of myself like I used to, i.e. actually doing my hair, my nails, grooming (the small things) I slowly started to feel like myself again and slowly the REAL me, not this foreign person who has taken over my body since 2016 started to emerge.
I now no longer recognise my old self anymore; the medication has helped me tremendously. I kick myself for not starting them earlier, but I know every person goes on their own journey the way it should be. I fought against the doctors, my family and myself thinking I could do it without medication or help, feeling like a failure for needing medication to be ‘’NORMAL’’ again. However, I feel empowered to share my story and assure anyone in a similar situation that you are not alone and that accepting help, be it physical help or medical intervention does not mean you are weak or a failure, or a bad mom and wife, ultimately asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness.
My sleeping problems have improved 10 fold, I’m not going to say I sleep amazingly every night with 8 hours of sleep and wake up feeling refreshed every night because HELLO I’m a mom, not going to happen (just yet), and yes there are some nights where I can’t get my mind to shut-off and not get a wink of sleep, but those nights happen now and again, also finally Kieran has been sleeping better, not that there aren’t some nights where no sleep happens because this happens now and again for sure but at least it feels like the worst is past. (Until another tooth erupts or another sleep regression). Mom’s you know what I mean right?
All in all, I feel like a brand new person, I will be on the meds for up to 18 months, and be re-evaluated every 6 months.
I thank my husband for his support and for still being around after all I have put him through!
Still lots more to talk about on this subject though, Until next time! xxx

On the 2nd of August by baby girl turned 7, honestly I cannot believe how time has flown by, when I look at her I still see my baby girl. On the 4th of August we celebrated ”Troll-Style” and it was totally Troll-ific!

As usual I went all out DIY, Crafting and having a ball party planning, I absolutely love it and it so worth the smile on my girls face every year. We are a FAMILY big on birthdays and every year I give it my all to make sure she has the best day.

It’s not all easy though, but after 7 years of BIG birthdays I’m almost a PROFESSIONAL hahaha! Birthday’s are my thing and so we go bigger and better every year lol. Am I creating a monster? Kirsten expects a party every year months in advance telling me what theme she wants and who she will invite. I love how excited she is about getting another year older, can’t I be like that again too?

Some of the vendors used;

-Party boxes, cups, plates, troll banners, troll head-gear, party hats, streamers, paper lanters from China Town

-All Balloons from Party City

-Cake and candy floss from Tessa’s Bakery

-Jumping Castle and Smoke LED bubble machine from Rumble Grumble Parties

-Troll cookies also from Rumble Grumble Parties

-Hula Hoop Party entertainment from Artee Parteez

-Venue Propdom Guesthouse

Anyways here is the gallery on all the party pics… ENJOY!