A letter to my son on his 1st birthday..

“I Dreamed of you”

I dreamed of you, I waited for you, I wanted you so much
I fought for you, I wished for you, I craved your little touch
I dreamed of you, I yearned for you, to be so close and near,
I loved you, I prayed for you, so worth my every tear.

I dreamed of you, I cradled you, I kissed your head good night,
I held you, I fed you, and held your hand so tight
I dreamed of you, I bathed you, I watched you sleep and play,
I hugged you and dressed you, and in my heart you’ll stay.

I dreamed of you, I hoped for you, I heard your little heart
I cried for you, I called for you, I loved you from the start
I dreamed of you, I cherished you, and all your little toes
I needed you, I longed for you, you chased away my woes.

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I found out I was pregnant just 9 days after we conceived you, yes crazy I know, but mommy wished for you for so long, I knew something was different, I knew you were there even before I took that test!
I lost my way so many times, I lost my faith, my prayers were never answered, I waited, I prayed, I hoped, I dreamed of you and prayed for God to bless me one more time and there you were on the 30th of June just a line on a pregnancy test, THE GREATEST line I EVER SAW! I can’t explain the joy I felt, the excitement inside me, when I told your dad, he ran and locked himself inside the bathroom and cried and chanted it was the funniest thing.
MY pregnancy wasn’t easy, we thought we were going to lose you so many times. Mommy bled a lot, I thought I had miscarried 3 or 4 times, but there you were my little “sticky – bean” that’s what I used to call you, because you were the size of a bean and I wanted you to STICK to my uterus! Hence, your nickname – Beanie. Every time we thought you were no more, there was your heartbeat, fast and strong!

 

I have so many hopes, dreams and aspirations for you, I wrote a few of them down for you on your first birthday…
1) BE BOLD, BE BRAVE and FIGHT for WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN.
2) EMBRACE LIFE, LOVE LIFE, you only live once.
3) BE YOURSELF and LOVE YOURSELF, you are my miracle, you are the best you, smile, laugh always, be you!
4) BE KIND ALWAYS, be a man of love and kindness.
5) LOVE WHOLE-HEARTEDLY, find someone who does the same.
6) FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS AND YOUR HEARTS DESIRES, do what you love.
7) BE PASSIONATE, do things with love, passion and gratitude.
8) BE A GOD-FEARING MAN AND a GENTLEMEN, believe there is a higher power.
9) BE HONEST, the truth always wins.
10) TREASURE THE SMALL THINGS, they are the greatest memories.
11) NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS, you deserve the world my boy, you fought to come into this world, you deserve the best.
12) BE AMAZING, you have a bright light shining from within you. Don’t be afraid to show it!

HAPPY First birthday my baby boy!
MY light,
My love,
My beginning, my end, my everything!

Mama Loves you, 10 million Balloons xxx