When you feel you’re not ENOUGH

you are good enough
With my PPD I often have feelings that I am not enough, that I am worthless, that I am nobody and that I am invisible.
It’s not something I want to feel, its not something I like and its not something I want to be pitied for.
You see I am not a person who likes to ask for help or speak about my problems, I’m that person who always listens, I am a BIG listener, mostly because I like to listen to people but also because I feel like other people’s opinions and words matter more than mine.
There are some days that I hate being me, some days that I wish I was someone else and then there are days when I am ok being in my own skin, in my own body, regardless of how much I hate my body and how it looks or how it works.
Sometimes I feel alone and sometimes I get overwhelmed by too many people, does this even make sense? In many ways I even confuse myself. I love being around people though, I love meeting new people, like a blank canvas to explore and, I am a blank canvas to them, it’s exciting like a mystery. And I love the new, the exciting and the unknown.

There is no need to be more – you are enough. Everybody is enough ~ Osho

I am scared a lot, to show the true me, I have so many ideas, thoughts and wonders to share. Am I the only one who feels like this? I doubt it. Scared of being the odd one out because I hate to fit in, I was born to stand out, but just not too much! We were born to be amazing but just not too amazing or more amazing than the next?
I love other people’s successes, it makes me happy, it makes me smile but it also makes me sad, it makes me look back at myself and wonder what am I doing to be successful? Why am I stuck, why am I not moving forward at the same pace as others, and then realise I am comparing myself to others, how hard is it to not compare though? Do you struggle with this too?

You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody ~ Maya Angelou

In truth, feeling like I am enough is a feeling all too foreign! I want to be enough for my kids, my husband but mostly just for myself, and the battle to feel like I am is so hard its like walking up a mountain backwards. How can you feel like you are enough when there are days so frequently that you feel like a failure?
The saying you are your own worst enemy is so true, NO ONE judges me as HARD or as HARSH as I judge myself. So when I feel like I am not enough, what do you I do?

Well here is what I have tried….

1) I Look at my kids – they are the purest and biggest examples that you are enough and worthy.
2) Focus on the good – sometimes its hard to see but there are so many silver linings
3) Appreciate the little things – like your messy house- means you have a house, your unbrushed hair and teeth – means you were too busy to do it, you have things to fill your time and life with.
4) Surround yourself with your family and friends- we all have people who love us, they are our support structures, lean on them.
5) I look at photos – and remember those moments in time, the memories, the smiles.
6) Write them down – feelings, thoughts, hopes, inadequacies anything you want.
7) BE creative – THIS is my most trusted outlet. It soothes my soul and refuels me.
8) Remember it will get better. Trust that you are enough as a mother, a daughter, a wife, a lover, an aunt, a grandmother, a person an individual.
9) SPEAK – to someone, anyone who will care to listen. Venting or expressing yourself helps as well as outside perspective.
10) Openness – open yourself up to the good vibes and the positive energy.
11) Do things that make you happy – be it me time, recreational activities, shopping, dancing, singing whatever.
12) Contribute – The feeling of not being enough can be helped so much when you give back, when you do something for someone else, be it small or big, I can’t tell you have amazing it feels to know you have helped someone in some way, it makes me feel like I am enough, I was enough for that person, even just for a moment. The joys of giving are end-less.
13) LOVE – Love heals all things, A husband, partner, a boyfriend, girlfriend, basically anyone who shows you love shows you ONE simple thing, and that is that you ARE ENOUGH!

Do you ever feel you aren’t enough? Well from me to you, I want you to know you ARE enough!
Thank you for reading this. If it helped you or you related to it in anyway please share it with me.

An-Affirmation-For-When-You-Feel-Not-Good-Enough

Yours in Mommyhood,
Mama N

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2 thoughts on “When you feel you’re not ENOUGH

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