Tell us a bit about yourself…
I’m Chevone and I blog over at ChevsLife. I work a 9 – 4, study part-time and parent all the time whilst also trying to home school my son. I live an ordinary life, in the shadows of my mind – always writing, even if only in my head at times.
I am also an Autistic mother raising an Autistic son with hearing loss. A few years ago my son and I both went through the formal process of diagnosis (Autism – Asperger’s Syndrome) to help us better understand ourselves and each other.
Describe your typical day in 5 words or less:
Intense fuckening of four seasons.
Name 3 things you can’t live without;
Being near the ocean, Deezer on my devise and earphones!
Attach a picture of your current mom bag and what’s inside;
What is a mom bag?
Name 1 thing you wish you knew before you became a mom:
That babies look beyond strange when they are born – it’s like the awakening!
What has been the scariest moment of your mom life and who did you look to for support?
A few years ago my son had to go in for a small procedure, can’t even recall what it was but they said he’d be out of theatre in 30 minutes. Alone in the waiting area -45 minutes had pass and other’s had already come and gone, then an hour had passed, and still no call for me. By now I’m thinking the absolute worst – maybe he died in theatre? Turns out they took him up to the children’s ward, and FORGOT to call me even though I was right there! I entered the ward as he woke up and the absolute terror on his face when he searched for me next to his bed and the absolute relief that slowly came over his face as he saw me walking towards his bed . . . One of the scariest moments in my life!
Who is your hero and why?
Don’t have a hero – I struggle with this concept of the word hero, but can say that there are many people who inspire me.
Name one thing (anything) that you would do if you weren’t afraid and were fearless and there were no consequences and nothing to hold you back;
I live on the edge of my mind, and if there was one thing that I would do it would be to write to my hearts content! No worries of financial responsibilities and the consequences that comes with not having an income – I will just write and write and write and write . . .
Name something that your mom taught you that you have taken into your own motherhood / parenthood.
Her absence (not by choice, because she had to work), and our disconnect has taught me the importance of being present and connecting with your child.
If you could be anyone for just one day who would you be?
Not sure if it is a fail, but when my son was a few months old we were at the mall and he shat all over his crawler, the damn shit was leaking down to his feet! I couldn’t deal and just took all the shitty clothes off, binned it, put a clean nappy on and wrapped him in his blanket and went home. It was so disgusting!
What piece of advice would you give to a new mom starting her journey?
Don’t get caught up in the advice of other’s – do what works for you and your child, use and tweak what is shared in a way that it works for you. There is no “right” way to parent, remember that your relationship with your child is unique to anyone else’s.
What is the best part of being a mom, only ONE thing please, I know it’s a hard one?
The ability to love and forgive without condition.
Best book you’ve ever read:
When I was in primary school I practically lived in the library. There was this one book that I read, and I can’t recall the title, but it had something to do with “door 13” – this was my introduction to hair raising horror story lines, and I absolutely loved it!
Being a single mom, who is your greatest support?
This is a tough one, my parents – especially my dad was a significant support figure in my son’s life. Then we’ve had/continue to have some amazing professional support and guidance and good friends.
How do you handle having to basically fulfil two roles?
I don’t think of being a single parent as fulfilling two roles as I see parenting as parenting – irrespective of whether you are single or not. What I can say is that being a single parent is not so much about the need for another parent to assist, but more so a need to have someone, a partner, to hold space for you.
Do you think single moms over-compensate in their parenting styles or ways because of the lack of a father figure?
I don’t know, because I don’t have a comparison as I’ve only ever been a single parent.
How do you approach the subject of his father?
My son and I have a very open and honest relationships and you can read about these moments here:
The Righs of the Absent Father
The Day He Mourned for the Father He Never Had
Chev, thanks for giving us a glimpse into your life, into your sons life and your beautiful motherhood!